The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
