So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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