I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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