You made me cry and you don't even care
where am i from again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
