WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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