Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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