Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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