There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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