How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
