he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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