Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
