I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
