i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
