She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize