Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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