Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
