Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
