the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
