then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
