Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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