S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
