I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
