Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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