What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
