she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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