And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
