tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
