I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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