This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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