Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
