At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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