I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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