And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
