I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
