I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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