Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
