I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
