i just wanna soil my oats bro
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
