that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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