i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
