My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
