Im at strip club and am horny
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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