remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
