Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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