Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
