I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
