It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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