If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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