My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
