I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
