Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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