I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
