drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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