another moral hangover. fuck.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize