the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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