You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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