hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
