I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
