He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
