Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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